So I'm no longer whoring, but....

....Whoring isn't legal and safe yet. I would have no qualms about doing it today if it were. I know a hella lot of people are still doing it and I want them to be legal and safe.

So I'm back. But I'm also going to school and busy as all fucking getout, so it'll be sporadic.

Love a local whore today!!!!

Whore As Therapist

So I also look at ads seeking adult services, especially when things are slow. The other day I was doing that when I came across an ad seeking fantasy/fetish help. The ad John* wrote was rather vague, not sure really what he wants. It was also gender neutral. So I fired off an email, explaing that my partner, myself or both of us would be happy to do what we can to help out.

This morning found his response in my inbox. I'm not going to publish the email, to do so would be a breech of my promised discretion, but I am going to talk a bit about it. John is a bit confused. He has a great many atypical sexual/emotional desires (fetishes) that he is not really sure about. And he seems to be rather desperate to figure it all out.

Now I am not going to romanticize what I do and claim that it is often more than just helping clients get off. I'm a whore and that is the primary function of whoring. But I do occasionally pick up clients who need something more from the relationship. I have a couple of regulars who feel that it is cheaper and more effective than seeing a psychotherapist. And then I get clients like the one who inspired this post - he would be my second such.

Human sexuality is remarkably intertwined with nearly every aspect of our lives, whether we are conscious of it or not. Sometimes this is manifest rather strongly in our sexual desires, or what we perceive as sexual desires. Unfortunately, such manifestations can easily become malignant, become expressed in unhealthy, dangerous or exploitative outlets. All too often these feelings are very confusing and cause an individual to devalue themselves, feel that they are somehow a bad person because of them. From there it becomes very easy for that person to find negative outlets.

For a great many reasons, aside from his finding negative outlets, I really want to help this person. No matter what else, John is hurting and confused. He is also vulnerable, because he is afraid of being a freak, of being exposed for the freak he is increasingly convinced that he is.

Let me assure you all, he is not a freak. Some of his fetishes are very atypical, some of them would just make most folks kind of shake their heads. But combined, they make for a very interesting person, unique and beautiful for all of his interests. He has a rich and diverse world to explore that just doesn't exist for most people. He is also strong enough to reach out for help, to sort it all out. I have yet to meet with John, it's possible that I never will. We have only exchanged a couple of emails and quite often folks who have fetishes such as his have a hard time actually getting together with someone else to talk and/or act upon it.

* I will never provide the actual names of any of my clients. Male clients are John, female clients, Jane.

I Love This Girl - But is her virginity worth a quarter million plus?

Seriously, she just fucking rocks. As a commenter on the attached Advice Goddess thread put it;

I don't think I'd like my daughter doing it, but what really is the difference in that and some horny high schooler lying about how much he loves her to get in her pants?

But I think the more interesting aspect of the conversation is why someone would be willing to take the bidding in excess of two hundred fifty grand.

Whoever buys, is not paying for the sex itself, which will likely be pretty lame. No, whoever buys her virginity is buying just that, her virginity. He is buying a sexual act that costs whatever the final bid ends up being and that is what he is going to get off on. About the only thing that would get a guy like that off more, would be finding a random chick and convincing her to do the same thing. And the higher the price gets, the more the guys going to get off on it.

I'll admit that there is some kink in this business for me. I have something like a polar opposite fetish to these guys. I get off on the notion that guys are willing to pay me quite a bit to sexually satisfy them. Likewise, I have several clients who get off on the notion of getting a stranger to fuck them for money. Ultimately, I think that while our kink is opposite, it is more similar than different. And the kink of paying a quarter million for some young girl's virginity is merely an extension of that. Honestly, I find this whole notion something of a turn-on.

Several years ago, I was paid one hundred bucks to fuck a really cute girl on video. I probably could have been convinced to do it for much less. The notion of fucking someone for money was an unbelievable turn on. It was uncomfortable - like several cramps at once, trying to maintain a position for a good shot, then moving to a position that hurts even more. It was a strain on the testes - fuck for a while, then pause while we get a better position - gotta keep it up, can't cum. Took more than an hour and a half - to say that I was sore after, would be an egregious understatement. It was excruciating. Yet I walked away so fucking geeked, I still get hard thinking about it - five years later.

I actually have a dream of helping bring about the legalization of prostitution here in my home state. That dream includes me being the first person to legally sell their sex in this state. This is a gig that could be made to pay fucking huge too - though I am betting a women (mine?) could probably get even more. And this would be much the same sort of thing - it's the fact that they are buying something that no one else can have. That is the kink of it, it has little or nothing to do with the actual quality of the sex.

It also occurs to me that this is also akin, albeit oppositionally, to submissives and wannabe slaves. Subs who frequent providers (24/7 subs/slaves are very different) tend to be guys in positions of authority in "real" life. They get off on relinquishing that role for a little while. Now the guy who wants the unique, what only he gets, because he can afford it - this guy relishes and gets off on power. Rather than wanting to escape it for a short while, he wants to take it even further and use his money to buy sexual control of another person.

Ultimately, these guys tend to be the shittiest clients. They basically take the stance that because they are paying for your time, they can do anything they want. The worse that I dealt with, was a client who wanted to be in a sandwich with another provider and I. Lets just say that I lost the coin toss on that one. So he gets set to fuck me and would have happily plowed in with only the condom's lube to help, were it not for the other provider catching him in time. Suffice to say, he wasn't all that gentle (and will not be my client again). But then when my friend entered him, gently and reasonably, he was all about telling him to slow down and be careful.

Clients like this are exactly the reason that it is very important to set boundaries. But they can also be very high rollers and so it is also reasonable to take care not to offend them. Part of the balancing act that is good whoring. Depends really on what one is willing to take and for what. Using the asshole I mentioned above as an example, I would probably take him as a client again, but would charge him a whole lot more to do him. But that's because I know what to expect, can prepare for it and also make sure the payout is worth it.

This has wandered a bit afield, but we're full circle now. Whatever else may come of it, if this girl's sale goes through, I promise you, she will lose her virginity to a completely narcissistic asshat. Because that is what people like the ones bidding for her cherry are - every one.

Looking For the Big Time

We have been "babying" a couple of potential clients, who have a rather interesting fetish. It is not a very common one, but is a natural extension of the domination game - these gents want to be babies. Oddly enough, I actually got a hit from one of them - odd, because this is almost strictly a fem provider's purview. But the client who hit me up, is dealing with abandonment issues, stemming from his father having left when he was tiny and never having the opportunity to see him. My lovely partner also got a hit from one, this one more of the "standard" baby fetish fare.

We had a cold start with both of these clients. The problem? I made the mistake at pricing the sessions for $250 an hour, fifty dollar upcharge for changing soiled (as apposed to wet) diapers. Now some might be thinking the problem was that this was too much. It's not - they were concerned that it was so low. The problem is that the guys (only heard of one women who is into this) that are into this, tend to be very high power professionals - great deal of money and power. They pay a premium for mostly two things. First, they require absolute discretion. Second, they require their providers to be "in character" throughout any communications and especially during their sessions. You cannot laugh, snicker or otherwise break character. This can be a significant challenge when presented with a overweight, five foot something guy wearing a diaper and bonnet - sucking on a huge baby bottle.

I thought we had lost my parter's client altogether. But we just got another resonse from him this morning, wanting to set up a session for later this week. My client wants to go ahead, but won't be back in the U.S. until next week Tuesday. We are charging them a straight up, four fifty an hour and they are happy to pay it. My partner's client is looking for about two and a half hours - if she's good (she's the mother of an actual infant) he will post about her on a baby fetishist web site. My client is looking for an even more exciting scenario. For our first session, it will be just the two of us, probably only an hour. But our second session, he would really like to have a visit from a lovely couple, come to see the new baby (momma died in childbirth - yes, he's got issues). It will take some doing, but I have someone to be the male partner to my acutal partner for the scenario.

The best thing about this (and most of our regular domination clients) is that it is perfectly legal. If we can pull it off, we could get more baby fetish clients. They are willing to travel - or bring providers to their local. Good providers can make a shit ton of money, just providing for baby fetishists - I've been communicating with one who brings in over three hundred grand a year and spends relatively little time working. We would continue with regular dom clients - it's a lot of fun and we are very good at designing scenarios. We could actually rent a workspace (we are planning on doing that anyways, but this could make it much nicer), set up dungeon, nursery and fetish spaces. We could also hire other providers.

And if we can win the fight to legalize prostitution in our home state, we could provide many more services.

What this whore does, when he's not whoring

I'm a sex worker and pretty happy about it, but I do have a life beyond sex work. I think that a lot of folks have the impression that life for a sex worker is just all sex, all the time. While this is certianly true of some of us, it is not true of all of us, or (I suspect) even a majority of us. So I thought that I would take a moment to describe my life outside of fucking for money.



Yesterday morning, I spent an hour in a meeting with my partner and the team in my six year old's new school, that deals with kids with special needs (my oldest and I both have severe ADHD). This was after something of a rush to get the baby and the new first grader ready to go. Talk about hectic, there had been some crossed wires and we had to get there an hour before we thought we did. But we made it ok (five minutes to spare) and the meeting went great. He starts tomorrow and over the next few weeks will be going through pretty extensive testing that we have been trying to get done for three years now.



I stopped home to get the kids ready and put to bed. Busier day than usual, so I got home later than usual and had to run off shortly after the kids were in bed. But I still got to have the time to snuggle the eldest and read for almost an hour, then we got to chat about his day. He had a pretty rough day, but made up for it by being an exceptional helper.

Then today, in between gigs, I was fielding calls from his new school to finalize tomorrows big day. This was after we had a bit of a row this morning. A rather rough start that turned into a good day - you never know how it's going to go. And now I am looking forward to a quiet evening at home, having had a decent day - though not as good as I would have preferred. I will play with the baby and the eldest. Then we will get them ready for bed and have some snuggle and reading time - maybe the baby will actually stay awake for it tonight. He really loves book time, but bed book time tends to find him falling out. But if he does, there's always morning.

Why Should We Legalize It?

Because prostitution is illegal, we have to use what works out to be rather like a band-aid for safety. When I am going out on a call to a client, I call another provider and let them know where I am going, who I am meeting and the phone number of the client. If I don't get back to them by a predetermined time, they will inform the police and/or try to find me. Kind of a whore's buddy system. In turn, I do the same for the provider I use for this.

Really, this is acutally fairly effective, except for one major flaw; what I do is illegal. There is a strong, inherent desire to avoid calling the police. This can lead to hesitation on the part of the buddy, who would really like to avoid making the call that might lead to the arrest of their partner. Both my buddy and I are rather inclined towards safety, but not everyone is so inclined. And while it is unlilkely to ever be an issue for me, there is always the risk that my next client is going to be the rare psycho, looking to beat, rob or kill a whore.

If it were legal and regulated, the prostitution industry could be (and in Nevada for example, is) much safer in this regard. Even with fairly mundane clients, blood can run a little hot and clients may take things a little too far, leading to injuries that should and easily could be avoided.

Too, when a sex worker is assaulted, they are usually not very keen on calling the police. While that individual can then avoid that same client in the future, that client is still out there and free to assault other providers in the area. There are few enough resources for sex workers to "black ball" violent clients or clients who simply refuse to pay. And with no legal recourse that won't cause as much trouble for the sex worker as the violent or theiving client, we just have to take it.

To put it mildly, this is bullshit. There is no reason I shouldn't be able to do with my body what I will. I am a whore by choice (though I was rather desperate for income). My domestic partner and I are very comfortable with our sexuality and relationship. We are also very enthusiastic about our new profession, though for different reasons. The other provider who is my buddy is very much the same. We are consenting adults who like to fuck. The only difference between us and everyone else who goes trolling for sex partners - totally legally, is that we would like to receive compensation for our services.

Over the course of this blog I will be addressing common excuses for the restriction of our sexual rights. And make no mistake; whether you would ever dream of having sex in exchange for money or not, it is very much our rights that are restricted here. I'm not the least bit interested in gambling, yet my rights, as much as the rights of those who actually do gamble, are being restricted by state and native monopolies on gambling.

With few exceptions, everything "bad" about prostitution, is the direct result of it's illicit nature. So please, even if you find my profession repulsive, join with me in fighting for our right to personal autonomy.

Human Sexuality is Fascinating

So I added fetishes to my adverts, on top of nude handy/household services and fantasy fulfillment. I kept getting responses that asked; "That's too weird, isn't it?" I have to honestly answer that question, no, it's really not too weird.

There are certainly things I won't do - I'm not into bodily waste, blood, scarring or extreme pain. But I certainly understand that some people are and respect that. In spite of my lines being drawn at having those inflicted upon my person, it's really not too weird for me - I just don't want to be pissed on (though for the right price, I can certainly do that for someone else) and refuse to be involved in blood play for liability reasons.

What I find fascinating though, is the wide range of seemingly mundane things, that just happen to be the thing that gets someone off. From a psychological perspective, I can imagine where some of it comes from. We really do bring our childhoods with us into adulthood and seemingly trivial (and often far from trivial) experiences from childhood can have a profound influence on our sexuality.

So today's new ad, includes my foot size.

Over the last three days, I have met with three different men who have foot fetishes (I apparently have very well formed feet). While it is absolutely true that there were profound differences in their fetishes, there were also remarkable similarities. The major running theme is humiliation. Humiliation and some pain, in one case rather severe, in another more like the implication of pain.

While my primary clientele, gay men, can carry more baggage that can lend itself to guilt and humiliation issues, I have noted that it isn't restricted to gays at all. What I have found to be common with my own clientele who are into being dominated (most common fetish, with feet running close behind), is that they invariably had an upbringing that included rather conservative religious dogma and now carry the attendant guilt (or the scars of that guilt) for being such vile sinners and disappointing their families. This isn't true of all of them, but it does seem to be almost inherent in the ones who are really into being punished most severely.

I have yet to be contacted by anyone for defication, though I was contacted by a straight guy who was interested in being urinated on. But I have a client who told me that he's interested in it and he just happened to be one who was interested in being beaten to a degree that I was unwilling to provide - again for liability reasons. I tend to think that this fetish is just an extenuation of the same issues that lend one to be turned on by humiliation and pain. It is actually because of this understanding that I wouldn't call bodily waste fetishes weird.

It is really easy to label people freaks and undesirable, because they are into things that we don't understand. There are folks who get off ob being babied - literally. That's pretty fucking bizarre, right? And yet why is it weird? Seriously now, I want you to really think about it and try to imagine why the person who feels sexy in diapers, might feel that way. Why they like to have someone change their diaper, when they have an "accident." I am going to post my supposition about this another time, but I'll give you a hint;

Baby fetishists tend to have positions of power and authority in the "real" world.

The thing about the strange and truly bizarre, is that they tend to stop being strange and bizarre when we figure out where they came from. Hell, it becomes less foreign when we just accept that it comes from somewhere, even if we might not understand it. Too much for me, it might be. Too gross, that happens too. But;

No. It's really not too weird.

Something else I added to my ad today. And with that, I must be off. I am heading over to provide my first "regular" with a good lay. So have a nice day and like me, please cover up, before you fuck - at least if you engage in sex with multiple partners.